Letter to A Good Friend
Dearest Reena,I sense death, maybe someone around me or someone near or me.
Suddenly I remembered whenever I run during physical training in secondary school.
I would experience chest pain or chest discomfort.
I wrote an email to my fifth cousin so that she could pass to her mom (my 3rd aunt).
If anything happens to me, my medical records can be found where.
my mom's side have stroke history, dad's side high blood pressure.
I asked my mom how did my dad's dad die?
she cant remember, she said my dad only have high blood pressure.
But I remembered my dad saying that he has heart problems.
My giddiness, breathing problems, chest discomfort came back more often now.
My heart would suddenly beat very fast & hard, so fast that I hope to die.
Since kindergarden, I have this fast heart beating i tot its normal.
Its sad but if worst come to worst.
I hope I can be with the lord.
My mom did not take my chest discomforts seriously.
So I could only tell you.
I hope I can tell ann.
But now she is depress over her work & financial.
I just dont want to drop the bomb suddenly on others.
So at least I told some of you so that you all wont feel it sudden or shocking.
I'm going to donate blood this friday,
so that I can go polyclinic to check my heart out, more cheaper.
I hope its cheaper.
It sucks, due to bad genes I have to prepare for "it" so early.
My mom rub it at my face that my chest discomfort is due to my overweight!
I was healthy weight at kindergarden & secondary school.
it suck to have a kin so heartless.
she dont want a heart, give me lar.
Guess it was my non sporty genes that saved me.
I read in straits times that ppl with such heart prob,
will die if doing heavy exercises.
I will give you my email passwords, when I feel that "it" really near.
I'll try to write my will in my blog.
I can only depend on you.
Cos e ppl in my family discriminates abnormal ppl & fat ppl.
I do want a simple christian funeral.
Well I might live to get married.
If so my hubby can be my funeral organiser.
If not, you are my funeral planner.
Sorry.............
Its sucks! I have a list of stuff that I really wanted to do.
I always wanted to grow my own garden.
But my mom killed my first flower plant.
I wanted a cat, a dog, a rabbit, something like a mini pet zoo at my home.
but my mom indirectly killed my hamsters.
With hugs & smiles
posted by SleepWalkING @ 2:51 AM
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