SleepWalkING

What a Group And DAy.

I cant stand this group.

How I wish I cant read ppl, too bad I got the gift.

Totally can read them clearly.

I left early cos I know joanna will say damaging stuff abt my group or grp project on the way home and I need to email reny something and also I wanted to do the svc mkt slides but forgot that I still have not receive the files.

Irfan said he dont have my yahoo mail address . Yinnee also said she dont have my yahoo mail address. But last semester I did gave it to the whole group in one of my emails to them.

This shows how right I am abt them. I know I'm not pretty, I'm fat , etc... but i'm their classmate thats a fact they cant change. argh.................

this friday, i got svc mkt retest and I got IAF retest and got BD project meetingssssssssss. Can I say i got problem, no i cant, when yinnee asked "Amelia do you have a problem with the date?". Everyone looked at me as to expect me to whine.

See irfan's face I know liao, joanna succeed in defaming me infront of the guys. Haiz. I now cant be bothered.

B4 all this happened, I was thinking how nice if all of us can keep in touch for the next few years. Then stuff happened, I know god is sending me signs that they are not sincere towards me. Totally opened my eyes, cause these five years in my heart I always tot I did something wrong thats why they give me a hard time or black face.

I ever asked God who can I trust and Who are my frens, God answered in full length's view for me.

I also asked God Should I opened up, and I need to face my fears and not be afraid of them.

Guess what my fears are...............1)meeting my dad, 2)missing my dad, 3)losing my frens, 4)abandon by my family, 5) and also fear of getting hurt.

I did opened up in privacy, thats why I cry easily.

I used to be a cry baby, I stopped crying when I numb myself.

When I tried to control my temper which was successful, my tears came out cos I accidentially thought of my childhood. Sian.... another one of my fears is remembering my childhood.

I will try to achieve better control of my emotions, cos to help others we need to help ourselves first right?

I'm actually helping this Old ITE fren, she is same age as you. Chinese, she used to be very slim and the face was not so bad.

But due to some family problems she neglected her face badly, and her figure.

Her self esteem suffered a lot and she dare not dream of getting married. I understand how she feels, so I behave cheerfully infront of her to help her open up more and trust me more.

She spent 180 dollars weekly on TOTOs & 4Ds, my jaw dropped. And she have to pay the bank $200 bcos of the housing loan her family took. Her CPF reducing badly, she got no savings, sometimes she need to get loans from frens. However, during our second meeting she listened to me. Cos I told her its not worth spending so much on all that TOTOs & 4Ds, since she always broke on month ends. Now she spending $30 weekly, isn't that great news. I'm going to go slow & easy on her. Hope I can help her more.

I like her, even though she have acnes all over her face but to me she look cute & pretty.

Last time, I helped grace, sally aka sansan and Ann. Now I'm helping Pang, Yatie, and my ITE fren. Yatie improved a lot, pang showing some improvement.

Its sad that I lost frens (irfan, edmund, yinnee & joanna) bcos of dont know what.

I think you send Irfan the E-card without my name.

I give up trying. I came back to this group because I missed them, especially missed working with you. And also see whether got chance with Edmund or not.

My weakness is I care too much on how ppl think of me, I kept trying to please ppl or avoid stuff that ppl dislike me to do. but end up the same.

Thats life, I gotta move on.

I told you b4 right, I will be taking A-levels first b4 going to Degree courses. Someone ever make fun of me or bullied me cos I was an ITE holder.


Oh ya, I asked Pang whether does he like YinNee or not. He straight away said no, not possible. I told him well rumours flying ard lor. he blur like sotong.

haha so funnie, even caslin laughed.

posted by SleepWalkING @ 10:30 PM